Fairy Tales
by Laze0
Summary: Read as the casts of Fire Emblem become characters in fairy tales and legends. They will have aways to go if they want their happy endings. Some will get one. Others not so much. Read and leave a review. Complete.
1. Snow White

Yo. I'm back. it's story time with the fire emblem cast. I'm gonna use all the fire emblems that is know of in fairy tales, legends, etc. Hope you enjoy ths. It's Au and other stuff.

Disclaimer-nada

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Snow White and the Twenty One Dwarves

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far, far, far, far, far, okay this place is like extremely far way, got it? Anyways, there was a beautiful castle that is completely white. It had a large white gate, a white moat (Don't ask), a white drawbridge, white walls, etc. Apparently, there was a falling out with the engineers of the castle and the engineers quit but that's another story.

In this castle, there was a princess with pale white skin, bloody red lips (lipstick), and bright pink hair. The princess's father died years ago leaving his only child alone. Well, there was the evil stepmother who was a witch but we'll get to that later. Snow White was the young girl's name. She was loved by much of the citizenry (not much of an accomplishment, no one is going to insult the princess when the king has soldiers with big pointy spears they can shove up your…).

One day, young Snow White heads toward a well in the kingdom courtyard. The well was enchanted and its waters were so pure and refreshing, animals loved to congregate by it. Even Snow White's singing/shrieking can't make the animals leave the well most of the time.

The evil stepmother however could only put up with so much. Snow White's naivety and "singing" made the queen angry. She turned to the hunter Dart to get rid of Snow White.

"Get rid of her and bring me that circlet thing she wears on her head," the Queen ordered.

"With pleasure," Dart grinned. He was a former pirate before the queen offered him the position of one of the royal Knights.

So Dart carried Snow White off towards the sunset. (No seriously. He was taking her to a forest which just happened to be in the direction the sun sets.) In the forest, Dart threw Snow White onto the ground. Then he proceeded to take out two axes and chopped off her… circlet thing.

"Queen's orders. Let's see. Now you are to head to some cottage in the middle of these woods and there should be seven dwarves. They will teach you how to sing and hopefully learn to shut up," Dart read off a list.

Snow White shrugged and proceeded to head deeper into the woods. Dart stopped her and informed her that she would now take a new name because Snow White was not a good name to have when the country was snowy eleven months out of the year. Thus Serra, that's her new name, headed emotionlessly into the woods and found the cottage.

In the cottage, she was greeted by seven dwarves. They were Lyndis, her husband Kent, the sisters- Florina, Farina, and Fiora, Dorcas the woodcutter, and his wife Natalie. As time passed, Serra learned how to sing and dance gracefully. Unfortunately, she still didn't know when to shut up.

One day, a woman dressed in a black robe knocked on the cottage door. She was young with bright green hair. By her side was a shady looking man, who looked strangely like the kingdom's most wanted assassin. The woman was selling apples that she said would be able to make the skin smoother than a baby's bottom. That was the dream of some woman. Serra was one of them. She quickly paid for the apples with some gold coins she pilfered from Farina's savings. Luckily, the dwarves were at work or Serra might be dead. The woman and man bowed their thanks and headed off into forest.

Serra quickly tried one apple. The spell on the apple however, had a strange effect on Serra. She fell into a deep sleep. When the dwarves returned from their jobs, they found her on the ground snoring the world away. The dwarves quickly realized the apples were the cause and went to work to find a cure since they were paid to look after her and a drugged princess was just barely out of the list of good care.

Eventually, Lyn was able to find a cure from an old Sacaen book. It stated that only a kiss by a knight can break the curse on the sleeping princess. That was a problem. So the dwarves made fliers that said "Sleeping Princess. Kiss her and she could be yours. Try today."

Two weeks passed before a man called Nergal showed up. The dwarves quickly hid Serra and them from him because the guy looked pretty creepy. Bored, Nergal left.

The next contestant for the princess was a prince called Hector. He took one look at the princess and quickly rode away.

The third contestant was a prince called Eliwood. He was about to kiss Serra but Hector quickly popped out of nowhere, grabbed his friend, and berated the poor trusting fool.

"So close," the dwarves thought.

Then a mercenary group walked by. They attacked the castle and failed. The queen offered for them to work for her and they accepted. They didn't even stop by the sleeping princess.

Finally, when the contract with the queen was almost over, a young prince showed up calling himself the prince of thieves, Matthew.

He heard the story and felt truly sorry for the girl. He kissed her on the lips and woke her up. Serra immediately started planning a wedding.

"We'll need a pink dress, a black tux, a ten feet high cake… Are you going to wear those shoes? That will not do. We'll need…" Serra rambled.

Matthew was getting a headache. He saw a girl selling apples with a man in tattered clothing. He remembered the story the dwarves told him and bought some apples.

"Want one?" Matthew offered.

The End


	2. Cinderella

Hey another crack is up. I actually don't like this all that much. Lost interest half way through. Hopefully its decent enough. Thanks for the review. Note I said review not reviews. Let me say reviews once and review ^-^.

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The True Cinderella Story

_Cinderella is an age old story of love, servitude, and random stuff. It is one of the staple stories in every fairy tale book. There are the evil stepsisters, the evil stepmother, the fairy godmother, Prince Charming, pumpkins, mice, birds, horses, and a ball (one of the dance things, not a soccer ball). Huh? There are a lot of animals and in a regular household an exterminator would be called a long time ago but this is Cinderella so we'll let things go. Now this tale centers on Cinderella (obviously) and her day at the ball._

Florina-Cinderella

Farina and Fiora- Evil Stepsisters?

Lyndis- Fairy Godmother?

Kent and Sain- Horses

Hector-Prince Charming

Eliwood- Hector's friend

Wil, Matthew, and Serra- Mice

Lucius and Raven- Birds

"I want to go the ball. Who knows? I might find my true love," Fiora said.

"Yeah me too. Who knows? I might find some rich sucker who will play poker with me," Farina grinned.

"I, um, don't want to go. Who knows? I might get STDS," Florina said demurely.

"That isn't even funny Florina," Fiora said.

"I'm just freaked out at how she could say that with a shy and straight face," Farina grumbled.

"Did you do your chores yet?" Fiora asked her sisters.

"Yes Sister," Florina said.

"Oh uh yeah. I was getting to those but there was this little problem I needed to sort out. Florina, be a dear and help me out?" Farina lied. (This was why people thought Cinderella was abused, lazy stepsister. They actually got along swimmingly.)

"You know that you shouldn't burden poor Florina with your problems. After mom died…" Fiora began.

"Not the mom speech again!" Farina groaned.

"What?" Fiora was taken back. She didn't use that speech that much. (5768 times every **year**)

"So what are we going to wear?" Farina changed the subject.

"I thought some blue dresses would be good," Fiora put in.

"Oh no. I know your tastes. It's the pits. I won't be able to run in that. What we need are short seductive dresses that will pull some suckers in," Farina made her point.

"I will not have my sisters look like sluts," Fiora yelled.

"Sluts? Oh there you go again. You just want us to look like old sacks for the rest of our lives. It's your fault poor Florina is so health conscious. At this rate, we will all become raging cat ladies," Farina argued.

"I will not have you take that tone with me," Fiora roared.

"Oh so now you're…" Farina responded.

At that moment the doorbell rang. Florina went to open it. She saw her best friend Lyndis at the door.

"Hi. I have a Fairy Godmother delivery from the Mice and Birds," Lyn greeted the family.

"Oh. Aren't your friends nice Florina? They sent you gifts for the ball," Fiora giggled.

Florina had a weird look on her face. It was one of loathing, hatred, and sheer disgust. The gifts included a beautiful blue gown (no excuse to miss the ball because she didn't have a dress) and glass slippers (glass shoes, what a brilliant idea-not).

"Now you have no reason not to go," Farina clapped her hands.

"We already bought our dresses and accessories a long time ago," Fiora added.

"Then why were you arguing?" Florina asked.

The sisters shrugged and said in unison, "We're sisters. We have to fight."

"There there. We'll bury them later," Lyn comforted a crying Florina.

"Why is my family so screwed up?" Florina asked rhetorically.

Lyn answered anyways with a joke, "Pent up sexual frustrations?"

There was a silence before Lyn blushed, "What? It was a joke. Besides, shouldn't we get ready? This was my last delivery so now I'm off."

"Huh? Oh yeah sure," the sisters said absentmindedly, still shocked that Lyn made a joke, and a sexual one at that.

"By the way, how are getting there?" Lyn asked.

"We have horses," Fiora said.

"Couldn't we get a taxi or something?" Farina whined.

"Haven't been invented yet," Fiora said matter-of-factly.

"I don't like the horses," Florina said, "Sain is a pervert and Kent is so stiff and slow."

"Almost like he has an eternal hard-on," Farina giggled.

Everyone else groaned. They all know that Kent was a war horse and obtained an injury to his right leg years ago during an uprising by local potato farmer, Nergal.

Hours later they finished dressing up and went out back to their stable. They unhooked an old carriage and harnessed the horses. Sain kept trying to pull up the girl's dresses and Kent kept lifting his legs and kicking his companion. Comical but a waste of time. Florina was never more grateful.

"Gee. I look like a mess. I can't show up like this," Florina looked down at the small splotch on her dress. Actually, the splotch was the size of 1/10 of a penny.

"Nice try. Get in," Fiora commanded.

They rode the carriage all the way to the castle where the party was held. The four ladies made quite an entrance. Farina's boyfriend Dart met up with her and the two disappeared into the crowd. A man about Fiora's age asked her to dance which she accepted. That left Lyn and Florina. They wandered around the castle and stumbled upon the prince and his friend. The princes were old friends with the ladies so Lyn and Florina decided to eavesdrop.

"You gonna ask her out?" Eliwood asked.

"No way," Hector snapped.

"This is why you are still a virgin. You never had the guts to ask a girl out," Eliwood said.

"Don't say something like that out loud, you idiot," Hector blushed.

"When will you grow some balls? It's not that hard you know," Eliwood sighed.

"What are you saying? Ninian confessed to you. You did jack," Hector glared.

"Even so," Eliwood said.

At this point, the girls stopped listening. The talk was getting too personal for them to listen in on. They were old friends after all. They returned to the party and danced with a few guys (Lyn did. Florina was also asked but she declined their invitations.). Later on the two princes joined them. Ninian also showed up with her brother Nils.

Eliwood and Ninian went off to dance. Nils and Lyn went off to find some grub to eat. That left Hector alone with Florina. They made small talk about the weather, horses, and the upcoming festivals.

"Hey Florina. You uh, want to go out with me sometime?" Hector asked not looking at her directly.

"Uh huh," Florina responded.

"Wait you will?" Hector turned his head.

"Huh? Oh Hector I forgot you were there," Florina turned from Fiora, Farina, and Lyn who were in front of her.

"F-Forgot?" Hector was shocked.

"Yeah. I guess you have that kind of presence that intimidates people at first but after a while they can forget you are there," Florina smiled.

"Forgot me?" Hector said aghast.

"My sisters said we have to go. So bye now," Florina chirped.

"W-wait," Hector was about to reach out but Eliwood slammed into him

"Hic. 'Ay Hector, there's beer. What with that idiot?" Eliwood slurred before he passed out and the ladies left. Ninian walked by Eliwood and carried him to another room in the castle. Hector lost his chance.

The End


	3. Rapunzel

hey. New chater. I have a request with Lucius playing the damsel so that will be next. For now, enjoy an amusing tale where Sain is devastated in more ways than one. I dont hate him or any characters. I just feel like making him a victim.

Disclaimer- not mine

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Rapunzel

Once upon a time, there was a young prince in search of a princess. We will just call him Sain for simplicity's sake. He was considered quite a womanizer. Yet he was infamous for being a heartbreaker.

He had a brother named Matthew. Both brothers had sandy hair. Sain's hair was greener. Matthew's was blonder. In terms of personality Sain was more outgoing and jovial. Matthew was more laid back and reclusive. And yet, both had their charms. Sain used his in pursuing woman. Matthew used his for blackmail and gambling.

One day they heard of a magnificent castle where there is a beautiful woman hidden up a tower. Sain was of course in high spirits. He was tired of the women in his kingdom. None of them can satisfy his criteria of a perfect woman. He immediately set out with his brother in tow. Matthew was reluctant but knew that he would need to be around or Sain would get in trouble… again. Sometimes he wondered how they were related.

So the brothers rode on their fancy white horses to the fabled castle. Matthew would have taken a regular brown horse but Sain insisted. At the castle, Matthew and Sain separated. Sain was going to check the castle surroundings. Matthew was going to the nearest pub.

Sain learned that the castle had four towers. Each tower had an inhabitant. One has a beautiful princess but the area is divided into light and dark halves. The princess was in one of these halves. The dark halves were very dangerous. So what did Sain do?

"It is obvious where the princess is held. She must be held hostage by evil forces and it is up to me to save her. Wait for me!" Sain yelled. (Note that he never considered checking the safe towers first.)

He rode his valiant steed to the first tower and called out "Rapunzel. Let down your hair." (Somewhere far way, someone is threatening to sue.)

A faceless figure appeared and spoke, "Who are you?"

The voice was indescribable. It didn't sound male or female. Undeterred, Sain pressed forth betting that it was a fair maiden in need of rescue.

"I am Prince Sain. I am here to rescue yonder (no idea what it means okay) fair maiden," Sain proudly said.

"A prince? It's been a while since we had one of those. Come up this magic rope," the voice invited.

"A magic rope? Can't I get an escalator or something?" Sain whined.

"No. Haven't been invented yet. Now move your lazy ass!" the voice yelled.

"Princesses these days," Sain mumbled as he climbed the rope.

When he got up there, he was greeted by a green haired girl not more than fifteen. Sain took one look at her and turned.

"Stay in school kid," Sain said as he climbed down the magic rope.

"What! How rude," the girl pouted. He didn't even ask her name.

"Well that was disappointing. Hope the next time will be better," Sain sighed. At this time, Matthew had returned from a bar. He won a few hands but was caught cheating so he ran away. He decided to join his brother. It would be funny if nothing else.

"Another failure bro? That makes three in a row," Matthew laughed.

"I didn't fail this one. She just wasn't to my taste," Sain protested.

"Hot, voluptuous brunettes aren't to your tastes?" Matthew looked up at the tower.

"What?" Sain said as he looked up and saw a beautiful woman up the tower.

He made to try to climb the tower but was pulled back by Matthew who saw the woman kiss a big brute.

"Better luck next time bro," Matthew grinned. The day was getting better and it was still morning.

"That's not fair. Why are the beautiful ones always taken?" Sain whined.

"Because then, the ugly ones can't get married," Matthew joked.

Sain gave him a pointed look and urged his horse towards the next tower, hopefully there won't be another surprise. At the next tower, Sain quite frankly fell in love. He saw the most beautiful creature ever. She had beautiful blue eyes, long flowing blond hair, and high cheekbones (No idea what that means so don't ask.) She was wearing a blue and white flowing robe similar to those monks in the monastery wear. Of course the girl seemed really flat chested but who cares. Matthew had no idea how Sain saw all that from a tower window fifty feet up especially when Sain couldn't see a small rock ten feet away from him.

"Rapunzel. Let down your hair," Sain cried.

Now Matthew wondered if his brother hit his head in the span of thirty minutes. It took about thirty minutes for Sain to gather information and climb up and down a tower. He chose to keep quiet for now though since Sain finding a wife meant someone else to clean up Sain's mess. Sain was a pain to clean up after. So much so, their servants refused to touch Sain's room. Poor Matthew was left with the task of cleaning up after Sain to keep from having a rat infested home.

"Ah good day to you sir knight," the woman called out. The voice was fairly deep for a woman but she had such manners.

"Ah if only I can stand here all day and listen to the sound of your voice I would be content. Oh beauty would you not consider riding off with me to live in my equally as beautiful castle?" Sain flattered.

"Um. I apologize, sir knight but it is not your company I seek," the woman said a bit taken back.

Now it was Sain's turn to be taken back, "Do you seek the company of women then?"

"I do but my dedication to the Saint comes first," the woman said.

"Oh woe is me. I have found a great beauty that loves women instead of men," Sain cried.

Uh. Don't worry. I'm sure some lucky man will love you someday," the woman gently said.

"I do not understand," Sain replied.

"Do not be afraid to stand forward with your head held high. Even if you are gay, you will find love someday," the woman said strongly.

"Oh man. This is too funny. She thinks you are gay, Sain," Matthew laughed.

"Uh my lady. I am not gay," Sain corrected sending Matthew a glare.

"Oh I am no lady. I am a man. I was sent here to investigate why this half of the castle is dark," the man said.

"A man?" Sain whispered.

"That's what he said. This is getting too good. You practically proposed to a man. Nice job," Matthew roared in laughter.

"A man," Sain repeated shocked.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I should have told you from the start. I have been told I look very feminine," the man said ruefully.

"Come on lover boy. Two towers to go. I can't wait for what will happen next," Matthew dragged a dumbfounded Sain to their horses.

Eventually on the long ride to the light half, Sain recovered.

"Hey. The man said it himself. He gets confused by others a lot. No big deal right," Sain said cheerfully. (It's true. Idiots bounce back fast.)

"Yeah sure. Keep telling yourself that," Matthew mumbled as they arrived at the third tower.

This tower was special. It had a door and a spiral staircase. Matthew opted out on going up this one. Not worth it. Tower was fifty-ish feet remember? An hour later, Sain reached the top of the tower. What he saw made him feel like puking.

He saw an old man about fifty, wearing only a pair of trousers. (Yes trousers.) The man turned on him in surprise and embedded a spear longer than Sain was tall in the wall near him.

The man took one look at Sain in white princely armor and laughed, "A new recruit eh? You came at the right time. My last group of trainees just quit. (I wonder why?) Now let's go for a short twenty mile jog around the castle."

Sain made to protest but he was still blinded from seeing the man in the near buff. He was also exhausted from climbing the tower. To top it off, the man's booming voice was giving him a migraine.

"That's funny. This says Army Barracks. And what's this "Beware of Wallace". What is a Wallace?" Matthew thought as he checked the surrounding area after Sain left.

He just finished checking when he saw Sain run out of the keep with a heavily built man waving a spear and chanting following behind him.

"Oh so that's a Wallace," Matthew thought, "Should I help Sain? Nah. He can take care of himself."

"Why me?" Sain sobbed.

In the meantime as Sain was being tortu-, trained, Matthew thought about what he should do. On one hand he could leave for home, but he was supposed to bring Sain with him. If he returned empty handed, his mom Lyn would definitely chew him out. He could go back to the pub but he already was caught cheating them, he probably won't be welcomed back. Then he could check out the last tower. Nothing could be as bad as losing out on a beautiful woman, get mistaken as gay and proposing to a man, and getting chased/lessons from a giant. Wow, Matthew just realized Sain might not be very lucky.

"Guess I'll check out the final tower," Matthew thought lazily and rode his horse slowly to the last tower with Sain's horse in tow.

At the tower he tried repeating the words Sain said, "Rapist. No. Rutabaga. No, sounds off. Rocks for brains. No that's not it either."

"Hey. People have feelings you know," a shrill voice yelled from the top of the tower.

"How the hell did the voice hear me?" Matthew muttered.

"I have good hearing," the voice replied.

"Whoa. That freaked me out," Matthew thought.

"By the way, the word was 'Rapunzel'," the voice said.

"Why can I hear you?" Matthew asked.

"I have telepathy," the voice said.

"Telepathy. How long you got guy?" Matthew joked.

"Oh great. First time I heard that one," the voice said sarcastically.

"Geez. Some people can't take a joke," Matthew sighed, "So I'm guessing you're Rapunzel?"

"No. She left a year ago. I'm her caretaker. I care for her for twenty years and she runs off with a prince charming? She's so lucky," the voice sighed.

"I'm sorry?" Matthew said awkwardly.

"Huh? Don't be. The girl needed to come out for once. She was so shy; I actually had to make some rumors about a poor girl being held captive to get people to come here. Unfortunately, some scholars showed to check the dark and light half. Some idiots like Wallace showed up. Then there are the princes. Some were ugly. Some were jerks. I had so much work to do," the voice sighed.

"I'm sure she appreciated your efforts," Matthew said.

"I know she appreciated it. She sends me a pigeon every few days. Now I have to feed twenty birds and write messages. That girl can't shut up now," the voice cried.

"Was her name really Rapunzel?" Matthew asked.

"No. Every damsel needs a weird name though. I was eating rapunzels (cabbages) at the time so I wrote that on the fliers. Her birth name was Serra by the way," the voice explained.

"Well as great a story as this was, I have to go save my brother. I don't think my mom will let me off the hook if I show up with his dead body," Matthew said thoughtfully. (Nice conclusion. I can imagine some of the punishments Lyn would come up with.)

"Oh you were so sweet to listen. I hate to ask but can you throw the trash away? It's all my trash for three years. There should be a landfill down there. There also used to be some nice people who helped throw away that stuff every week. I wonder where they all went. Anyways, I would go but I still have spring cleaning to do," the voice asked.

"Sure. What's in there?" Matthew asked when he lifted a heavy bag.

"Serra's hair and broken glasses. I try to recycle but that girl had way too much hair," the voice sighed.

"Alright. Goodbye," Matthew waved.

Matthew took the two bags of trash down to the landfill. (Two bags for three years. She really does recycle. I feel bad now.) He tossed the bag into the landfill. Ironically there was no landfill. Matthew did get directions but there were no trash there. He wandered around for a bit and finally spotted a woman with pale skin and long black hair. She seemed like a doll. When she spoke it was even more eerie. Apparently she was responsible for the disposal of trash. She used to have helpers but they mysteriously resigned after she sent them to the barracks and met a man called Wallace. Even that, she said emotionlessly.

Matthew, spooked, left the trash and ran back to the tower where he left the horses. He saw a beautiful red haired girl stroking his horse's muzzle. It was love at first sight. Psyche. They got into an argument. Matthew yelled at her for touching his horse. She yelled at him for leaving the horses here without any restraints or care. The girl's name was Leila by the way.

Then they yelled about how poorly Matthew was dressed to which he countered with how she looked. Then they argued about the food they like. Then they argue about what they hated. Then they started to make out. Wow. You learn a lot about someone by arguing eh?

All the while, the voice was watching, "Dang I'm good. I should get a career in this." (Yes. The voice set it up.)

They fell in love and rode back to Matthew's kingdom. They were happy until Lyn gently reminded them they left Sain behind. Hey, a mother is usually happy when their child finally gets married. (I think. I'm a guy remember.)

They have a wedding after they retrieve Sain. Sain was strangely buffed up but seemed to be traumatized. His muscles were all torn and he seemed to be in pain. Well, he eventually recovered and THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER… sort of.

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HEY. LEAVE A REVIEW WHY DONCHA. O. caps lock was on.


	4. Sleeping Beauty

it's been a while and I'm sad to say but I suck at this. Sorry but I think I'm going to end this fic. Thabk you for all your support until now. The final installment would be Sleeping Beauty. If I get enough people asking me to add some more than I'll continue or if I think of some idea. Otherwise this fic is done. Have a good one.

Disclaimer- Sleeping Beauty, Fire Emblem, and other stuff not mine

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Sleeping Beauty

Once upon a time in a kingdom far away, a fair prince was born under the name Lucius. He was kind, benevolent, and sweet. He had a girly face and a slim body to match (no breasts though, thankfully). When he was born, fairies that inhabited the kingdom were invited for a feast. One was left out however. This fairy was named Nino. (I cast her a lot now that I think of it. I don't even use her.)

Earlier, she had waited patiently by her enchanted mailbox waiting for an invitation. On the eve of the party, she finally realized an invitation wasn't coming. Nino was so angry that she was not invited. She threw a temper tantrum and her brothers had to calm her down. When she was calm, she decided to crash the party and get revenge.

"How's this calm again?" Linus asked Lloyd.

Hearing no reply, he continued, "And why are we here too?"

Still no reply, "Hey. Pay attention."

"Just shut up. Remember the last time you pissed her off? She turned you into a toad," Lloyd recalled.

"Yeah," Linus shuddered.

"You never looked better. Unfortunately she changed you back," Lloyd joked.

"Not funny. Have you ever been a toad? It's horrible. The flies I ate, the warts I grew," Linus said with a pained look on his face.

"The laughs I had, the pranks I played," Lloyd mimicked.

"I still owe you for that fly fishing thing," Linus glowered.

"Will you two be quiet? I can't crash a party if they know I'm here," Nino shouted.

"Oh is that Nino?" Fiora asked.

"Yeah. What's she doing in the bushes and is that Linus and Lloyd with her?" Farina scowled.

"Maybe they lost something?" Florina replied.

"Like their minds?" Lyn joked.

"Let's just go in," Fiora sighed.

Meanwhile, Nino was hunched over trying to come up with a way to crash the party. She was considering using a ladder and climbing to a window and breaking said window. Or she could have Linus and Lloyd make a distraction and run in. Or she could-

"What's she doing?" Linus whispered.

"I think she is trying to think about how to crash the party," Lloyd remarked.

"She's a fairy. Why doesn't she just you know poof in there?" Linus asked.

Nino gave a little gasp. Lloyd groaned, "Please don't tell me you forgot."

"I might have for a moment," Nino said sheepishly.

"You little brat. I was down on my knees for almost half an hour sneaking around because you forgot you can poof in?" Linus slaps her head.

"Aren't those the Reeds?" Eliwood asked.

"Yeah. I wonder why they aren't going in yet," Hector rubbed his neck.

"Maybe they lost their invitation?" Eliwood said.

"They could just go in. The guard was ordered to allow every non dangerous person in," Hector mused.

"Then-" Eliwood began.

"Look Eliwood. I'm tired and hungry," Hector said.

"When are you not tired and hungry?" Eliwood teased.

"Shut up. My point is there is a bevy of fine cuisine and single fairies in there. Why should we worry about them?" Hector made his point.

"Since when did you know the words bevy and cuisine. I thought 'a lot' and 'food' was the limit of your vocabulary," Eliwood joked.

"You are not funny. Let's just go in," Hector groaned.

As they went in, the Reed family finally got their act together and Nino began to chant the spell to get in. There was a small problem, she forgot the spell. Linus was ready to snap at her, literally. Even Lloyd was getting a little peeved.

"Why don't we just go ask the guard? Maybe our invitation was lost," Lloyd voiced.

"No. They are mean heartless people and I am going to crash their party," Nino pouted.

An hour later they finally got poofed in… to the dungeons. Now the brothers were seriously pissed.

"Nino you little brat. I gave up the best hour of my life to get an exclusive pass to the dungeons?" Linus roared angrily.

"S-Sorry. I guess I was a little off," Nino bonked her head.

"More than a little," Lloyd said icily. When Lloyd got mad, they knew they did something wrong. The guy had as low of a blood pressure as Linus had of a high one.

The trio stayed quiet through their long walk up towards the party. They climbed staircase after staircase. They hid from guards after guards. They opened doors after doors. Basically, their journey was hell.

"Why oh why did dungeons have to be so low below ground?" Nino wondered.

When they finally arrived at the party, they looked like a mess. Linus's red suit and Lloyd's blue suit were turning an odd brown and green color from the dust and dirt. Nino's black and blue dress was torn and messy. (This is about as detailed as I'm going. You want more detail, look it up.)

"We made it," Linus huffed. He was forced to carry Nino for part of the journey because she was tired.

"Now I can crash it," Nino said cheerfully.

Ironically, there was no party to crash. They made it in time for the well wishes from the fairies though. (This wouldn't be Sleeping Beauty if they arrived any sooner or later okay.) Fairies were magical creatures. And since all the women in the kingdom were fairies, the men were basically screwed if they were not strong fighters. But that was beside the point. The women were to bless the child with something good. Twelve were selected since anymore would result in some narcissistic jerk.

"Beauty."

"Strength."

"Love."

"Strength of will."

"Kindness."

"Speak with animals."

"Humility." (Thirteen blessings override any blessing for humility.)

"A big," Farina began but saw Fiora giving her a hard stare and made a confused gesture, "heart."

"Beautiful hair." (I'm running out of ideas.)

"Beautiful voice."

"Reason." (I'm also too lazy to actually check the blessings in case you were wondering."

Before the last fairy (that would be Lyn) could give her blessing, Nino popped out (Surprise surprise.).

"How dare you throw a party without inviting me you jerks! Just for that, I curse the baby to sleep forever the minute he touches a spinning wheel," Nino hissed.

"Sleep forever? Sounds good to me," Hector mumbled, "How's that a curse?"

"Quiet Hector. You are ruining a dramatic moment," Eliwood whispered.

"And a spinning wheel? Why that? Why not just go with a flower? I didn't think we even had spinning wheels anymore," Hector said loudly.

"What do you think we use to make those clothes on your back?" Eliwood gave him an incredulous look.

"The fairies poof it," Hector said.

Eliwood started to laugh before realizing Hector was serious, "You can't be serious. Do you think everything is done by magic? Grow up. Fantasies don't happen like that." (Ironic much?)

"Stop talking like an old man. Elimine knows my brother is already like that," Hector exclaimed.

"If you two are quite done, we have an urgent matter here," King Pent cried.

"Sorry," Hector and Eliwood said.

"Now Nino. Why would you do this?" Pent asked. (Yet another low pressure guy.)

"You didn't send us an invitation even though everyone else got one," Nino said.

"We did sen-," Pent began, "Oh wait. I knew I forgot something."

"Don't tell me you jeopardized our baby's future because of a lapse in memory dear?" Louise gave him a cold glare. (Guess who isn't getting any tonight? ^o^.)

"Well, there was this jousting match I wanted to see so I temporarily forgot to send the invitation," Pent stammered.

""Temporarily you say? And when were you planning to remember?" Louise asked kindly. (If a woman was raging mad, then turns kind all of a sudden, you are screwed.)

"Uh oh," Pent tried to escape but a silver arrow slammed him onto a wall. Louise always had a bow and a quiver of arrows on hand. Pent allowed this indulgence but now he seriously regretted it.

"Now dear. It's rude to run away in front of our guests. Nino dear?" Louise turned to Nino who was hiding behind Linus who was hiding behind Lloyd who was hiding behind Chuck Norris who was wondering why he was here.

"Ye-yes?" Nino stuttered.

"Is this curse reversible or will I need to leave you a space in the game room?" Louise asked cheerfully.

The game room was where hunters keep the spoils of their hunt. The spoils were usually the dead animal's body, fur, head, etc. These trophies were then hung on walls or stuffed. Needless to say, you don't want to be left a spot in that room.

"I-I don't know," Nino blubbered.

Louise walked over to Nino and comforted her, "Oh don't cry dear. It's not your fault. It's Pent and your brothers' fault for not stopping you."

"Eh?" the three turned.

"Does that mean I don't have a place in the game room?" Nino asked hopefully.

"Well, chin up," Louise said. Nino went back to blubbering.

"Hey. Can I bless the baby and go home already? It's late. I'm beat. The food is gone," Lyn whined.

"That's it. Lyn still has her blessing to give," Louise said cheerfully.

"Okay then. I give you obedie-" Lyn began but was interrupted by a resounding "No".

"What now?" Lyn asked irritably.

"You want **him **to get sued?" Pent yelled.

"Well, I never really liked him since he kept getting me killed," Lyn muttered.

"No getting author sued. Bad Lyn," Fiora said.

"Fine fine. I give the baby immor-," Lyn said.

"Don't even. Just undo the curse," Hector groaned.

"I was kidding. Chill," Lyn said, "Oh yeah. I can't undo the curse. Want something else?"

"Can you weaken it?" Louise asked.

"I can provide an out clause but that's about it. Oh and I can make you guys all fall asleep when the kid falls asleep so you don't lose any time together," Lyn added.

"Yeah do that," Pent said. He was getting really tired.

"It's done. Goodnight," Lyn said before poofing out. The other fairies took their leave as well.

"Hey. Wait a minute. I have to snooze when the kid takes a nap? Nuh uh. Nothing doing," Linus added.

"I can always put you to sleep forever," Louise interjected.

"As I was saying, I love the idea about going to sleep when the kid goes to sleep. Always been a dream of mine," Linus quickly said.

So it was set. The baby Lucius grew up to be a gentle, strong, yet kind spirit. He was much loved by the people. To make long story short, he went up a tower and pricked his finger on a spinning wheel and went to sleep. The twelve fairies who blessed Lucius were fine as well as Nino. Everyone else in the kingdom was put to sleep. The thirteen set off to find someone who can brave the weeds that grew around the castle and wake up the sleeping prince.

Each fairy went to separate kingdoms and found worthy knights/ heroes. Half of them, upon realization that the sleeping beauty was a man, quit. Farina found a pirate willing to do the job for a tidy sum but they got into an argument over the price that he never left port. Lyn found a knight willing to aid someone in need but they fell in love and she forgot her task. Florina found a knight as well but this one freaked her out and she ran away from him. He kept pursuing him though. (Guess who that is?)

Fiora and Nino each found someone and brought them to the meeting place. One was a paid mercenary called Jaffar. The other was a high pitched girl called Serra. Looking at the odds, the two fell into despair.

"We failed didn't we?" Fiora said.

"Yeah," Nino replied.

"Now they're going to be asleep forever," Fiora said.

"Yeah," Nino said.

"I guess we should try anyways," Fiora said.

"Yeah," Nino said.

"Let me hit you, just once," Fiora said peeved that her companion was ignoring her.

"Yea-, wait what?" Nino said startled. Fiora smacked the back of her head.

"What was that for?" Nino cried.

"Pay attention. We are the last hope for this kingdom," Fiora said angrily.

Meanwhile, Jaffar was putting up with Serra's chatter.

"I wonder how he looks like. Are you gay? You know it's a guy right? I wonder what reward I'll get. Do you think it'll be an animal? I like horses but I can't stand dogs. They bark so much. It's like they'll never shut up," Serra ranted.

Jaffar was contemplating whether the pay was worth it or not.

"Okay you two; we have a prince that needs to be awakened. So first up is Jaffar," Fiora said.

Jaffar easily cut down the weeds and made it into the inner sanctum but a black shadow showed up and knocked him out the castle. He was out cold. That left Serra. The fairies looked at her and sighed.

"This is our last hope?" Fiora mumbled.

"Don't worry. If we are lucky, she won't make it out," Nino said hopefully. They were with Serra for barely a minute and they already were at the ends of their rope.

"Oh is it my turn? I guess so huh? I knew it was going to be me who saves the day. You know, my dad always say I'll defeat something terrible. Well, he didn't actually say that. He said I'll be the death of him but he couldn't have meant that. I mean, I am fabulous. Since he was a pretty terrible father, I guess that means I will be a hero," Serra said in one breath. Before she can take another one, Fiora poofed her to the front of the castle.

"Why didn't you do that for Jaffar?" Nino asked.

"I forgot," Fiora said.

"Then Serra?" Nino asked.

"I was aiming for the moat," Fiora groaned, "I missed."

The moat was where the privies were emptied into. Look it up.

"Wow. This place is nice. A bit dusty but they were asleep for days so. I wonder which room it is. Let's see. If I am right handed then I should go left. I hope it's the kitchen. I am starving. Or better yet, the vanity room so I can pretty p before meeting the prince," Serra said.

The shadow came for her as well but ran away immediately. It had a strangely masculine voice that said, "Not worth it."

So Serra walked all the way to the prince's chamber where the fairies transported the prince after he fell asleep.

"Wow. He looks so girlish. He had better be a man. I don't want to marry a pretty boy wimp. I mean, I need someone strong to protect poor, fragile, little me," Serra said as she went to shake the prince awake.

The shaking did nothing so she shook him harder.

That still failed so she started talking, "Come on wake up. I'm tired and hungry. You should be cooking me dinner or something. A girl like me needs better treatment you know. And another thing…"

"Please shut up. I'm up. I'm up. Just stop the torture," Lucius groaned.

"Torture? How rude! Oh wait, you probably meant the dust in the air. It is torturous isn't it? You really do need to clean up the place better. Don't you have maids or something?" Serra asked.

The other inhabitants of the castle woke up as well. The king and queen were so pleased they threw a happy wedding for the couple. Serra accepted but Lucius protested saying that he had suddenly decided to be a monk upon awakening. No one can explain why but they accepted the act. Instead they held the marriage between Serra with Hector who drunkenly proposed.

"You really need to stop wearing that blue armor. It doesn't do anything for you. What do you think about my white wedding dress? It looks great on me right? Of course it does. I am amazing. No. It's horrible. I look fat," Serra contradicted.

"Are you PMSing?" Hector asked but instantly regretted it when she turned to him.

"What did you say? Do you think someone as perfect as I can be such a jerk? I don't have mood swings. I don't have any problems. Stop staring at me," Serra screamed at him.

The next day, Serra was sputtering in the moat. Hector took a vow of celibacy. Needless to say the wedding was called off. There was a spike in celibate men for a while. Serra eventually married a man called Erk who was able to mellow her out. The man was good. In that year, there was a surprising decrease in celibate men and once celibate men became married men.

And they lived happily ever after.

* * *

Read and review my last work on this fic alright.


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